We got our pictures from Guavaween back today. I now have photographic evidence of things I don't remember doing. The first few were snapped in our downtown Tampa hotel room. Big D, Steve and Helen amused themselves for three hours while I showered, shaved and dressed. I didn't have time to get a costume for the night, instead just dumping my lingerie drawer into a bag and sorting through it after my shower. Picked out a black leather mini-skirt and lace-up black vest, accented with thigh-highs and my sluttiest comfortable shoes: my drag queen ensemble was complete. I didn't plan to be a drag queen, but when I looked in the mirror a drag queen leveled her smoldering gaze back at me.

One picture shows me sitting on the bed pretending I'm going to wear my stiletto hooker heels while they try to argue me out of it.

I had encouraged them to go eat while I was getting ready, warning that I would take forever, but they didn't listen. Consequently, none of us ate that night. By the time I was dressed and made up, it was time to go party. The cab ride took less than three minutes, and the driver filled every second with warnings about the neighborhood we were entering and directions to likely places to find a taxi when we were ready to go home. He dropped us at the barrier a block from Guavaween and told us to get in the gates quickly.

My platform sandals, though comfortable, didn't allow me to walk very quickly on the uneven brick paving, and I began to fall behind, which is when I found out why our cab driver had been so insistent in his warnings. A dozen small children, ten years old and younger, burst out of their hiding spot in the roadside bushes and surrounded me, asking if I had any money (no) and what my costume was supposed to be. They apparently weren't satisfied with my answers, for I heard whispers of "do it, do it" coming from behind me just before the little bastards attacked me. They had long, thin, plastic wands filled with fluorescent goo which they used to whip my back and legs. For a moment I was terrified, because there were so many of them and they were really hurting me, but then I remembered that I am a green belt, more than capable of subduing twelve tiny brats. I quickly spun around and snatched the glow wands of the two biggest girls, since they were fearlessly close to me and encouraging the others. We engaged in a brief cursing match, which I won by a landslide, then I stalked towards them with my hand raised. They glared at me in defiance for a moment, and I�ll never forget the animal look of hatred on their faces, but when the two leaders finally broke and ran the rest followed, shrieking. By then my boyfriend and friends had come back to laugh at me, and we continued together to the gates. I had some faint welts to examine in the mirror the next morning, but they have already dissappeared.

Guavaween takes place on about twenty brightly lit blocks of Ybor City, encompassing almost all of the nightclubs. It�s something like Mardi Gras and Fantasy Fest, with risqu� costumes everywhere, drunk college kids, and girls on balconies encouraged to show their breasts for a shiny bead necklace. We wandered around for over an hour, crowd-gazing, until Ben and Bethany finally arrived, then we went to The Castle.

They didn�t like The Castle. That�s okay, though, because I stayed there with Big D while the other couples amused themselves in the streets. Big D was drinking, a very rare occurence, and he got very chatty. We had one of the best talks we�ve had in ages, where he admitted that he had been waiting to get drunk to ask me some questions. They were rather mundane questions, and I was surprised he had held onto them. But it was nice to have him talking and curious about my thoughts, for once, and I immensely enjoyed our corner gropes. I danced for a while, and various men and women danced with me. It�s amazing how bold some people will get on a dance floor, and I found myself switching partners frequently, pushing each man away when they began to grab my ass or thighs and press me too hard against their crotch. Big D claims I have an uncanny ability to draw the ugliest men in the club to me, and each time I shoved a groper away from me I looked for my boyfriend�s amused grin and we laughed together across the distance. Eventually he came onto the dance floor to herd me into another dark corner and we forgot we were in public.

After The Castle I don�t remember much, but there are pictures of me cavorting outside with our friends, doing many silly and embarrassing things. Apparently I was in an affectionate mood.

I do remember that on the way to Ben and Bethany's van I was far less equipped to deal with the uneven brick paving. I fell two separate times, my ankles twisting and legs collapsing in a split second, dumping me on my ass. The first fall hurt the worst, when I cut my knee open. A police officer very kindly helped me up and asked if I was okay and I said "thank you, sir" before my brain had processed her woman's voice, despite her masculine features and haircut. I felt bad immediately, and stuttered an apology as Big D took me off her hands.

He had to release my arm to find a bathroom, and I lost our group. Just as I found them I fell again, amusing them greatly. I managed to roll with it, though, and avoid any more damage. Steve had been unsuccessfully trying to convince a cute, voluptous girl seated on a bench to show her tits. I smiled at her, and when Steve gave up and walked away I exchanged two strings of shiny beads for a glimpse of her breasts as well as a long, wet kiss. She scampered off, yelling to her friends that she liked girls now. I don't make this shit up, this is what happens to me sometimes. I must have been born under a lucky, lucky star.

We got back to the hotel in the wee hours of the morning, and I will be teased until Steve�s dying day about my impromptu panty dance on the bed. Even after a long night of drinking I had trouble staying asleep until Big D climbed over me for a quick stealth-bang just before dawn.

Sunday was a lazy day, showering one by one, checking out of the hotel and leaving Tampa before the Buccaneers fans could tie up traffic. We stopped in Lakeland for a leisurely breakfast and got home around noon to lie around watching movies until an early bedtime.